We met Mommy Tess, a para-santigwar ( folk healer ) who uses oil, plate, and candle in her traditional healing practice. She narrated her story and showed the ritual to us. What I remember most from the conversation is her conviction while she was explaining pagtubod ( faith ). Without absolute faith in the divine power and in santigwar, healing isn’t certain.

Today is World Mental Health Day.

I must admit, I am prone to prolonged deep thinking, day dreaming…

Isn’t that common to us, fellow artists?

When we created this story, “The Mirror Has Two Faces”, the idea was to explore two personalities in singular persona – one that is romantic, free and light and the other is constricted, dark, sinister – through dance and fashion photography.

Mental health as a subject or a starting point for a fashion editorial or show has been a debate in the creative industry. Remember the cover of Vogue Portugal “Madness Issue” that was pulled out last August? Or the Gucci runway show, September 2019, where one of the models walked, palm showing scripted with “mental health is not fashion” ?

“The Mirror Has Two Faces” was not an intended depiction of the matter. But, when I saw the result, I was concerned that it may have presented or romanticised it, and that it won’t be run by the magazine. How would the readers interpret those series of images?

From then on, I learned to be more cautious of where I take inspirations for my fashion stories. Though, it goes back to what the mind can only see – the otherworldly, the dreamy, the fantasy.

My everyday view since the lockdown, end of March.

Some low moments during this period of uncertainty. Who doesn’t have, anyway? Long-term plans were cancelled bringing forth lost resources and opportunities. Mine included a residency application in Spain and a photographer’s representation in London, which I processed earlier this year. Bummer!

While my creative journey has been a source of joy and reward, its unpredictability bothers me at times. More so, now.

Today, as I woke up, I pinched myself, picked up that energy of positiveness and stood with courage again.

Playing it by ear and see what the future holds.

With about 30 years of age difference, here are two of many things I can impart to you :

1. Go and get it cobber!
2. Don’t forget to dance, laugh, and enjoy the moments with friends in your life. The memories will last forever.

4 years ago, I woke up to the saddest call in my life. On that same day, I took a flight from London to the Philippines. Broken heart. Empty soul. Suddenly, I lost my my best friend.

The tears from the pain, longing, loss… they fall until now.

The Meaning of Life.
October 2016.
Esquire Singapore.